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SelfLove

How To Stop Beating Yourself Down When Rejection Strikes

Posted in Lifestyle
on January 15, 2018

Hey there, friend! 

This topic has been on my heart a lot recently because I’ve witnessed it first-hand with friends, family, coworkers, and even with myself. I felt compelled to write a blog post about it because I’m hoping to help you if you find yourself struggling in the new year. So if you find yourself struggling with beating yourself down in the midst of rejection, keep reading for a little bit of bliss.

Let me tell you one thing us humans know how to do very well…

Beat. Ourselves. Down. Relentlessly. 

I’m sure you can relate to this regardless of the season of life you may find yourself in. You’re working on a huge project you’ve been putting all your time and energy into only to find out that your corporate doesn’t approve. You’ve been dreaming and working hard because this is something you’re incredibly passionate about pursuing, and everything comes crashing down once you hear that rejection. This, unfortunately, leads to a negative spiral of you questioning your worth, intelligence, and even your skills in your position. You’re left devastated and defeated.

Or, you’re a mom who is juggling work, family, taking care of kids, all while trying to stay afloat with every other commitment—and you find yourself beating yourself down on how you should sleep less, so that you have more time to spend with your family after working 40 hours each week. Guilt settles in, and eventually consumes your entire mind. Now, you’re left thinking your a bad employee, horrible mother and a less-than-perfect wife.

There are a million more examples I could list out, but the point is we have all been there whether it’s related to work, family, a passion project, and everything other situation in between. Even I have a difficult time accepting that I’ve restlessly torn myself apart with criticism and negative words, and it’s NOT  good place to be in. So, why do we allow ourselves to beat ourselves down whenever we face rejection?

Rejection is part of life. Not everything is going to go smoothly, and life is a long journey of peaks and valleys. But, when did it become normal to be so negative toward ourselves to the point where we question our self-worth simply because we are in the midst of rejection? When did it become acceptable to beat ourselves down to the point where we don’t even like who we are in that moment or situation?

I don’t know about you, but that’s not the way I want to live my life, and you shouldn’t want to live your life that way either. 2018 should be a year where we focus on self-care, self-love, and working on the best relationship with ourselves. It we truly aren’t happy with the relationship we have with ourselves, how we expect to have a good relationship with our friends and family? Once we invite more love and kindness when working on ourselves, the better we will be.

Here are some tips to NOT beat yourself down when facing rejection:

1| This too, shall pass

Remember that this moment of rejection will not last forever. It most likely will not matter in the next five years, or maybe it won’t even matter in the next five days. Although it can be difficult to move on when you feel like you messed up, it’s essential for your well being. Don’t let yourself linger in the negative feelings that follow rejection. Allow yourself to feel them for a certain amount of time, so then you can move on feeling good about yourself again. Better yet, USE the rejection as motivation to go back and learn from the rejection, so that you can conquer it next time you face that challenge.

Use your past to make you better, not bitter.

2| Let go of perfectionism

2018 is the year we should let go of perfectionism. Granted, this is ALWAYS easier said than done because perfectionism is a tough disease to fight through. But, not only will this help your mental health in the long run, but it will also help you focus on being kind and compassionate to yourself when you’re in the wake of rejection. Remember that no one is perfect, and you’re not an exception to this fact. The bad thing is that MANY of us struggle with this, so next time you see a loved one getting caught in the perfectionism trap, remind them that they are only human, they are doing the best they can; and they are more than enough.

3| Focus on self-love

Self-love is something we should be committed to working on in 2018 because without it, perfectionism takes over the mind like a wild fire. Then, you’re left soaking in the rejection while your relationship with yourself is deteriorating. Remember all the other times you faced rejection, and you thought that you weren’t going to make it through? Well, you made it. Not only that, you probably grew from the experience and it made you become even more wonderful than you already are.

So, believe in yourself and remember that despite everything you have been though, you are still standing. You are a force to be reckoned with. You will not let rejection destroy your self-esteem because you’re too good for that.

Related: 5 Reasons to Make Self-Love a Priority

The next time you face rejection, remember that it’s okay to feel upset or angry. But don’t let those emotions turn negatively onto yourself. Remember that every human will face rejection and mistakes because it is part of life. That doesn’t make you any less of a human being. If anything, the experiences should humble you being a reminder that YOU ARE human and it’s okay.

When is the last time you faced rejection? Do you find yourself struggling with perfectionism when it comes to your work? How do you handle rejection, or how can you better handle rejection next time it comes your way? I would love to her more about your experiences in the comment below!

Ki Signature

 

 

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8 Things to Let go of in 2018

Posted in Health, Lifestyle
on January 10, 2018

I hope you are all having a wonderful 2018 so far!

I have been reading posts in the blogging community about their goals for the new year, or their word for 2018, and similar posts. We are constantly adding things that we want to do or accomplish in a new year, but we don’t often think about things we should let go of. It had me thinking about a new perspective I want to challenge you all with for 2018, so I decide to share what you should let go of in 2018. If you’re looking for a little inspiration, and a lot of bliss—keep reading.

1| Perfectionism

It’s okay to go to work without a full face of makeup and perfectly done hair. It’s okay if your Instagram isn’t perfectly cohesive. It’s okay if you’re not going to cute cafes, and traveling to new places every single month. It’s okay if your party doesn’t have Pinterest-worthy foods and DIY decorations. Life isn’t perfect, so we shouldn’t keep bringing ourselves down in 2018 when things aren’t perfect. You won’t have it together all the time, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Embrace the imperfect moments of life.

2| Negative self-talk

You are beautiful. You are loved. You are needed. You are enough. If there’s one thing you need to let go of in 2018 it’s negative self talk. Self love should be a priority in your life because you deserve to have a positive, loving relationship with yourself. After all, you’re going to be with yourself for your entire life, so you may as well like yourself. Drop the negativity and be kind to yourself. Remember that you’re doing the best that you can, and you’re always going to be a work in progress.

3| Toxic relationships

Let go of the people who don’t lift you up or bring any positivity to your life. Whether it’s a family member, long-time friend, or a coworker you have been spending time with. If they are constantly bringing you down, or they aren’t there for you when you need them there, they probably aren’t a friend worth keeping in the new year. Remember that not every person who comes in your life is meant to stay around forever, and it’s okay to let go of those relationships.

4| Items you don’t love or need

I had to get honest with myself on this one because I’ve noticed a few things I’ve been holding on to that I truly don’t need or even enjoy having around the house. Minimalism has definitely played a large role in my life, and I’m reminded that removing things I don’t love will only make space for more things that I do love. Take time to sort out your closet by asking yourself these 10 questions while decluttering. If you’re already past your closet, try a decluttering challenge, or look into other areas of minimalism that doesn’t involve decluttering.

5| The past 

2018 is a new beginning for all of us, and we should treat it as such. Remember to let go of the negative moments of the past year, so that it won’t hold you back in the new year. This can apply to any period of your life for that matter. When we hold on to feelings of the past, it affects our present self and potentially our future self. So, let the past stay in the past, and you’ll feel content living in the present moment.

6| Busy schedules

We need to stop glorifying busyness. We need to let go of packed schedules and saying yes to plans we don’t even want to make. It’s time we take care of ourselves, and have more time to live slowly and intentionally. Focus on self-care with a mental cleanse challenge. It’s important to have a balance between work and time for yourself. Oftentimes, we get caught up in work and constantly being on the go that it takes a horrible toll on our health altogether.

Related: 8 Small Improvements to Live a Blissful Life

7| Procrastination

Sitting on Pinterest dreaming about the life you wish to have can only get you so far. You need to get up and do the things you want to accomplish. Creating a vision board works wonders on achieving your goals, and it’s a great place to start if you’re looking for a little motivation in the new year, too. Find your passion in life, and work at it every single day. Stay consistent with your goals and be productive with your day.

Related: 8 Tips to Get Your Life Together in 8 Hours

8| Comparison

Hey there, beautiful soul. Here’s a gentle reminder that you don’t need to compare yourself and your journey to someone’s else experiences. That’s how you get in a rut, and that’s no bueno. Instead of comparing yourself to other, remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can right now, and there’s always room for improvement. But don’t let comparison steal your joy from the things you love most.

What are you letting go of in the new year? Whether it’s something on the list I have or something completely different, make sure to share your thoughts in the comments below! I would love to hear more about what you plan to let go of in 2018.

Ki Signature

 

Share some bliss with your friends!
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Self-Care Challenge: Week 2

Posted in Health, Lifestyle
on July 14, 2017

One week down and three more weeks of self care to go! If you’re tuning into this challenge for the first time, make sure you catch up on my previous posts so you can learn about why I decided to create this challenge for July and how it will benefit you to begin focusing on self care. Are you ready for this week’s challenges?

Declutter your closet.

I did a huge overall f my closet a year ago, but I still go through it rather frequently because when I realize I’m not wearing an item, I will donate or sell it. On this day, I got rid of three pairs of shoes, two wallets, and a handful of other items as well. It’s amazing how much you don’t wear. As I continue to declutter these areas in my home, I find myself feeling happier every time. Read: 10 Questions to Help you Declutter your Closet

Do a random act of kindness.

My coworkers and I put together a gift for an employee who has been having a hard time. We got her and her children day passes to a water park, so they could enjoy the day together. She cried because it made her so happy, so of course I cried because she was crying. At least they were all happy tears! It warmed my heart to be able to do this. Whether it’s paying for the person’s coffee behind you, or leaving a note in a local bathroom, kindness can do wonders.

Try a new hobby and practice it during the challenge.

Fun Fact: I want to play the ukulele and I’m going to practice consistently throughout the remainder of this challenge to see how much I can learn over the next few weeks. Wish me luck! What hobby will you try for the remainder of this challenge? Make sure to share in the comment below!

Call/ FaceTime a family member to catch up.

I FaceTimed my friend which I do once in awhile. But since I haven’t seen them in so long, it’s always wonderful to talk and catch up on our lives like we’re actually together instead of states apart having coffee over the phone.

Plan a staycation in your town for a weekend.

My friend is visiting me for the first time in PA, so I’m planning a staycation with her that will be filled with things we’ve both never done before like: visit local museums, tour the beaches, go kayaking on the lake, and try restaurants unique to the city, etc. It’s fun to explore your own city sometimes.

Turn off your phone for a night.

This happened to be a day where I was feeling like I needed a break from social media and my phone altogether. I really put some time and energy into self care by having a glass of wine, reading outside on the patio, and indulging in some adult coloring. It’s the little things, right?

Write 5 things you’re thankful for.

1| Josh

2| My Job

3| Friends and Family

4| My Health

5| Self-Care

Week Three Challenges:

Create a calming playlist and relax while you listen.

Do yoga or Pilates for 30 minutes.

Plan a night out with friends.

Take a scenic drive.

Organize your digital life.

Write 5 things you love about yourself.

Treat yourself to your favorite dessert.

What tasks did you enjoy the most from week two? Which tasks were the most difficult? Make sure to share your experiences in the comments below!

 

 

Ki Signature

 

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5 Reasons to Make Self Love a Priority

Posted in Health
on June 12, 2017

I. Love.Quotes. I was that girl in college who always had inspirational quotes on the walls of her dorm because she was that IN LOVE with quotes. I love learning inspirational messages, and dishing them out to friends and family where they’re struggling, or need a little pick-me-up pep talk. It’s not abnormal for me to search Pinterest for words of wisdom on a rainy evening. Recently, I was reminded of a quote, and it brought on a lot of emotions.

“If I asked you to name all the things you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself?”

It makes me teary-eyed to read those words and think that at one point in my life I would have said, “I don’t think I would name myself at all.”

Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m the only person who thinks that.

Bottom line: you need to love yourself.

We live in a world where it can be very difficult to love ourselves. With unrealistic standards of beauty, unrealistic standards of happiness and the do-it-all mentality—loving ourselves can be stressful and complicated. We are constantly absorbing content where we see other bloggers and people that exude confidence and happiness. They’re always doing something spectacular, fun and Instagram-worthy. We see fitness accounts filled with inspiration that makes us hate the way we look. And these are only a few examples.

We need to stop comparing our lives to the Instagram of our favorite blogger. In reality, that person still struggles with things we know nothing about. Similar to how other people don’t know what our personal struggles are.

So why should you make self love a priority?

1| It’s necessary for your health

Not just your mental health, but also your physical and emotional health, too. Self love affects all these areas of your well-being, so it’s important to love yourself. When you drop negative self talk, you’ll be more positive and confident. This positive change will bring out healthy ways of living like working out regularly and taking care of yourself. Self love is a powerful thing.

2| You focus on the most important relationship

The most important relationship you’ll have in your life is the relationship you have with YOURSELF. You have to live with yourself until the day you die, so you need to love and appreciate that relationship. Self love will help you focus and learn more about yourself, what you need and what your goals and ambitions are. Journaling and having time alone to yourself is important.

3| It reflects positively in other relationships

Because you’ll have a positive, strong relationship with yourself, you’ll notice a huge, POSITIVE change in your relationships with other people. Your love, confidence and bliss will resonate with other people, and that will change their perception of you for the better. They will want to be around you more because you have a positive impact on them in your friendship/relationship, etc.

4| You’ll be blissful

More importantly, you should practice self love because it will truly make you blissful. When you stop the comparison game with everyone around you—you feel the weight of mountains lifted from your shoulders. Real talk: NOT loving yourself is exhausting because you’re constantly at war with yourself. Always tearing yourself down while lifting someone else up. That isn’t a healthy way to live.

5| It’s essential. Period.

We need to remember that we are not perfect, and we weren’t created to be perfect. We are constantly striving to achieve the “best” life. And while being ambitious is a positive quality, the pressure we put on ourselves is too much. Self love is essential because there are many times where we think perfection is the answer when perfection is the reason for destroying our love for ourselves.

Today I’m encouraging you to give yourself a compliment (or five) because you’re absolutely amazing and you deserve to think so! Let’s set aside our flaws and focus on our strengths. We have positive qualities we should love about ourselves. Now it’s time to love ourselves the way our friends and family love us.

What do you love about yourself? Go ahead, be confident and leave a comment with your favorite qualities about yourself! How do you practice self love?

 

Ki Signature

 

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Mental Cleanse Challenge: Week 5

Posted in Uncategorized
on February 27, 2017

It’s crazy to think that this month has flown by so quickly. It seems like yesterday that Erin reached out to me to see if i was interested in collaborating with her on this challenge. After going through this month with focusing on self care, relaxation and more—I’ve learned so much from this process and experience. I want to thank Erin from A Welder’s Wife for joining me with these challenges and experience altogether. It has been wonderful to work with her and see how she has done each week during the challenges!

If it’s your first post catching up on the Mental Cleanse Challenge visit the posts below to catch up on the weekly challenges and posts below to see how Erin and I did each week!

My Posts:

1| Week 1: Introduction

2| Week 2: Self Care

3| Week 3: Diet & Exercise

4| Week 4: Digital Cleanse

Erin’s Posts:

1| Mental Cleanse Challenge Week 1

2| Mental Cleanse Challenge Week 2

3| Mental Cleanse Challenge Week 3

4| Mental Cleanse Challenge Week 4

Now keep reading below to see how I did last week on the positivity challenges:

Feb. 20: No complaint day.

I was a little nervous about this challenge because if I’m stressing out over a workout…I will complain. But, I’m happy to say that I made it through Insanity without a single complaint! A huge win for me personally, haha!

Feb 21: Write down 3 great things that happened today.

1. I had a productive day at work. 2. I worked hard on the blog after work. 3. I meal prepped for the entire week.

Feb 22: Spend 15 minutes in silence focusing on one positive attribute about yourself.

My positive attribute was focusing on my self-motivation and drive to keep going. The part I struggled with was only focusing on this one thought when there were other thoughts in my head.

Feb 23: Compliment a stranger.

This is never a difficult task since I’m around people most of the time. It is always nice to see someone light up after you give them a genuine compliment.

Feb 24: Write a letter to yourself explaining why you are unique.

I thought I was going to have a difficult time with this one, but instead of writing a letter, I decided to do it as a list, which seemed less daunting and overwhelming for someone who feels uncomfortable talking about themselves.

Feb 25: Ask your friends to describe you in 3 words, write them down, and repeat it to yourself throughout the day.

I decided to ask my co-workers it was the best decision of my life. They said: confident, outgoing and crazy (in a good way, haha). It makes me happy to see how they perceive me is in a positive way. It definitely made my day to think about this throughout the rest of the day.

Feb 26: Write out your challenge wins and treat yourself!

I’m so happy to say that I was able to complete all the challenges throughout this month. This challenge and teaming with up Erin taught me so much about practicing self care and focusing on time for myself, which was so important. I was most surprised about the diet and exercise challenges like going vegan and trying a new workout!


Overall, I’m sad to see that that challenge is over with, but I love knowing it’s something I can plan for another month down the road when I’m in need of some self care and relaxation. If you followed along with these challenges:

What was your favorite/least favorite week?

My favorite week was the self care week because it had mix of everything from walking to pampering sessions and everything in between. My least favorite week was probably the diet and exercise because it was a little more challenging even though it was worth it!

What challenges were you most surprised that you were able to accomplish?

No complaint day during the positivity week and trying a new workout during the diet and exercise week. Both were two that I was worried about, but was happy and proud for accomplishing them.

What challenges were your favorite or most difficult to complete?

I loved all the positivity challenges even though they were also the most difficult challenges to complete for me personally. When I was able to cross the daily challenge off my list for each day, it was so satisfying.

Is this something you’d like to try again down the road?

YES! I definitely want to plan this for summertime when I’ll need another pick-me-up-month and need to focus on self care, relaxation and refreshing my mind altogether.

Want a review of all the challenges?

 

I hope you enjoyed following along on these challenges throughout the month of February with Erin and I. It was so fun and refreshing to have a month filled with challenges that focused on self care, relaxation and everything in between to focus on mental health. Make sure to leave comments below asking the reflection questions and any other comments you have from participating in the challenges!

 

Ki Signature

 

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