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selfcare

How To Stop Beating Yourself Down When Rejection Strikes

Posted in Lifestyle
on January 15, 2018

Hey there, friend! 

This topic has been on my heart a lot recently because I’ve witnessed it first-hand with friends, family, coworkers, and even with myself. I felt compelled to write a blog post about it because I’m hoping to help you if you find yourself struggling in the new year. So if you find yourself struggling with beating yourself down in the midst of rejection, keep reading for a little bit of bliss.

Let me tell you one thing us humans know how to do very well…

Beat. Ourselves. Down. Relentlessly. 

I’m sure you can relate to this regardless of the season of life you may find yourself in. You’re working on a huge project you’ve been putting all your time and energy into only to find out that your corporate doesn’t approve. You’ve been dreaming and working hard because this is something you’re incredibly passionate about pursuing, and everything comes crashing down once you hear that rejection. This, unfortunately, leads to a negative spiral of you questioning your worth, intelligence, and even your skills in your position. You’re left devastated and defeated.

Or, you’re a mom who is juggling work, family, taking care of kids, all while trying to stay afloat with every other commitment—and you find yourself beating yourself down on how you should sleep less, so that you have more time to spend with your family after working 40 hours each week. Guilt settles in, and eventually consumes your entire mind. Now, you’re left thinking your a bad employee, horrible mother and a less-than-perfect wife.

There are a million more examples I could list out, but the point is we have all been there whether it’s related to work, family, a passion project, and everything other situation in between. Even I have a difficult time accepting that I’ve restlessly torn myself apart with criticism and negative words, and it’s NOT  good place to be in. So, why do we allow ourselves to beat ourselves down whenever we face rejection?

Rejection is part of life. Not everything is going to go smoothly, and life is a long journey of peaks and valleys. But, when did it become normal to be so negative toward ourselves to the point where we question our self-worth simply because we are in the midst of rejection? When did it become acceptable to beat ourselves down to the point where we don’t even like who we are in that moment or situation?

I don’t know about you, but that’s not the way I want to live my life, and you shouldn’t want to live your life that way either. 2018 should be a year where we focus on self-care, self-love, and working on the best relationship with ourselves. It we truly aren’t happy with the relationship we have with ourselves, how we expect to have a good relationship with our friends and family? Once we invite more love and kindness when working on ourselves, the better we will be.

Here are some tips to NOT beat yourself down when facing rejection:

1| This too, shall pass

Remember that this moment of rejection will not last forever. It most likely will not matter in the next five years, or maybe it won’t even matter in the next five days. Although it can be difficult to move on when you feel like you messed up, it’s essential for your well being. Don’t let yourself linger in the negative feelings that follow rejection. Allow yourself to feel them for a certain amount of time, so then you can move on feeling good about yourself again. Better yet, USE the rejection as motivation to go back and learn from the rejection, so that you can conquer it next time you face that challenge.

Use your past to make you better, not bitter.

2| Let go of perfectionism

2018 is the year we should let go of perfectionism. Granted, this is ALWAYS easier said than done because perfectionism is a tough disease to fight through. But, not only will this help your mental health in the long run, but it will also help you focus on being kind and compassionate to yourself when you’re in the wake of rejection. Remember that no one is perfect, and you’re not an exception to this fact. The bad thing is that MANY of us struggle with this, so next time you see a loved one getting caught in the perfectionism trap, remind them that they are only human, they are doing the best they can; and they are more than enough.

3| Focus on self-love

Self-love is something we should be committed to working on in 2018 because without it, perfectionism takes over the mind like a wild fire. Then, you’re left soaking in the rejection while your relationship with yourself is deteriorating. Remember all the other times you faced rejection, and you thought that you weren’t going to make it through? Well, you made it. Not only that, you probably grew from the experience and it made you become even more wonderful than you already are.

So, believe in yourself and remember that despite everything you have been though, you are still standing. You are a force to be reckoned with. You will not let rejection destroy your self-esteem because you’re too good for that.

Related: 5 Reasons to Make Self-Love a Priority

The next time you face rejection, remember that it’s okay to feel upset or angry. But don’t let those emotions turn negatively onto yourself. Remember that every human will face rejection and mistakes because it is part of life. That doesn’t make you any less of a human being. If anything, the experiences should humble you being a reminder that YOU ARE human and it’s okay.

When is the last time you faced rejection? Do you find yourself struggling with perfectionism when it comes to your work? How do you handle rejection, or how can you better handle rejection next time it comes your way? I would love to her more about your experiences in the comment below!

Ki Signature

 

 

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8 Things to Let go of in 2018

Posted in Health, Lifestyle
on January 10, 2018

I hope you are all having a wonderful 2018 so far!

I have been reading posts in the blogging community about their goals for the new year, or their word for 2018, and similar posts. We are constantly adding things that we want to do or accomplish in a new year, but we don’t often think about things we should let go of. It had me thinking about a new perspective I want to challenge you all with for 2018, so I decide to share what you should let go of in 2018. If you’re looking for a little inspiration, and a lot of bliss—keep reading.

1| Perfectionism

It’s okay to go to work without a full face of makeup and perfectly done hair. It’s okay if your Instagram isn’t perfectly cohesive. It’s okay if you’re not going to cute cafes, and traveling to new places every single month. It’s okay if your party doesn’t have Pinterest-worthy foods and DIY decorations. Life isn’t perfect, so we shouldn’t keep bringing ourselves down in 2018 when things aren’t perfect. You won’t have it together all the time, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Embrace the imperfect moments of life.

2| Negative self-talk

You are beautiful. You are loved. You are needed. You are enough. If there’s one thing you need to let go of in 2018 it’s negative self talk. Self love should be a priority in your life because you deserve to have a positive, loving relationship with yourself. After all, you’re going to be with yourself for your entire life, so you may as well like yourself. Drop the negativity and be kind to yourself. Remember that you’re doing the best that you can, and you’re always going to be a work in progress.

3| Toxic relationships

Let go of the people who don’t lift you up or bring any positivity to your life. Whether it’s a family member, long-time friend, or a coworker you have been spending time with. If they are constantly bringing you down, or they aren’t there for you when you need them there, they probably aren’t a friend worth keeping in the new year. Remember that not every person who comes in your life is meant to stay around forever, and it’s okay to let go of those relationships.

4| Items you don’t love or need

I had to get honest with myself on this one because I’ve noticed a few things I’ve been holding on to that I truly don’t need or even enjoy having around the house. Minimalism has definitely played a large role in my life, and I’m reminded that removing things I don’t love will only make space for more things that I do love. Take time to sort out your closet by asking yourself these 10 questions while decluttering. If you’re already past your closet, try a decluttering challenge, or look into other areas of minimalism that doesn’t involve decluttering.

5| The past 

2018 is a new beginning for all of us, and we should treat it as such. Remember to let go of the negative moments of the past year, so that it won’t hold you back in the new year. This can apply to any period of your life for that matter. When we hold on to feelings of the past, it affects our present self and potentially our future self. So, let the past stay in the past, and you’ll feel content living in the present moment.

6| Busy schedules

We need to stop glorifying busyness. We need to let go of packed schedules and saying yes to plans we don’t even want to make. It’s time we take care of ourselves, and have more time to live slowly and intentionally. Focus on self-care with a mental cleanse challenge. It’s important to have a balance between work and time for yourself. Oftentimes, we get caught up in work and constantly being on the go that it takes a horrible toll on our health altogether.

Related: 8 Small Improvements to Live a Blissful Life

7| Procrastination

Sitting on Pinterest dreaming about the life you wish to have can only get you so far. You need to get up and do the things you want to accomplish. Creating a vision board works wonders on achieving your goals, and it’s a great place to start if you’re looking for a little motivation in the new year, too. Find your passion in life, and work at it every single day. Stay consistent with your goals and be productive with your day.

Related: 8 Tips to Get Your Life Together in 8 Hours

8| Comparison

Hey there, beautiful soul. Here’s a gentle reminder that you don’t need to compare yourself and your journey to someone’s else experiences. That’s how you get in a rut, and that’s no bueno. Instead of comparing yourself to other, remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can right now, and there’s always room for improvement. But don’t let comparison steal your joy from the things you love most.

What are you letting go of in the new year? Whether it’s something on the list I have or something completely different, make sure to share your thoughts in the comments below! I would love to hear more about what you plan to let go of in 2018.

Ki Signature

 

Share some bliss with your friends!
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Self-Care Challenge: Week 4

Posted in Health, Lifestyle
on July 28, 2017

I feel like this month has been flying by! I can’t believe this is the last week (with the exception of the weekend) for our 30-day self care challenge. If you haven’t been keeping up with the last few posts, make sure you check them out: week one self care challenges, week two self care challenges, week three self care challenges.

Week Four Challenges:

Watch your favorite movie.

I have too many favorites, but I decided on Pitch Perfect because you can’t go wrong with singing and Anna Kendrick. Right? What is your favorite movies or top five list of favorite movies?

Take a social media break.

It was a perfect day to take time away from social media because I had everything scheduled in advance, so I wasn’t even worried about posting to different platforms. It’s amazing what this little break can do for your well-being. I was able to focus on enjoying the day rather than aimlessly scroll on social media!

Meditate for 10 minutes.

I’m a person who meditates so much better when I’m listening to soundscapes like summer thunderstorms. It definitely helps me relax a lot easier and enjoy the time in peace. Do you meditate? Do you listen to guided meditations or have any apps you use? Make sure to share in the comments!

Try an online class or webinar.

I’ve been taking so many online classes, courses and webinars for all things, blogging, social media, etc., and this one was no different. I decided to focus more on YouTube, and I can’t express how much I learned. P.S. this might be a hint of something coming to Blissfully Brunette soon!

Visit a chiropractor.

My chiropractor is incredible. It’s amazing what one little adjustment can do for my neck. If you struggle with neck and back pain, I would definitely recommend it because it will change your life. I promise.

Take a power nap.

This was after a LONG week and even a longer weekend ahead, so this nap was so well deserved. If Corrine says we should take naps, then we should take naps. Side note: Are you watching the Bachelorette? Who do you think will win?

Compliment a stranger.

It’s incredible to see how taking the time to compliment someone can make their day, especially when they’re a stranger. Take the time to spread some love and kindness by complimenting that girl at work or someone at the bar.

Week Five Challenges: 

Two words: adult coloring.

Buy flowers and plants for your home and office.

 

What tasks did you enjoy the most from week four? Which tasks were the most difficult? Make sure to share your experiences in the comments below!

 

Ki Signature

 

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Self-Care Challenge: Week 3

Posted in Health, Lifestyle
on July 21, 2017

Goodbye week three and hello week four. Make sure to go back to the self-care challenge week one and self-care challenge two if you haven’t read my review of those challenges yet. Then we can review the week three challenges, and then it’s time to move on to week four. How have you been enjoying the challenges so far? What has been your favorite week? What week has been the most difficult? Make sure to share all your thoughts in the comments below!

Week Three Challenges: 

Create a calming playlist and relax while you listen.

So I didn’t necessarily make a playlist but I did listen to a lot of soundscapes, which I didn’t realize how much I love listening to them. It’s very relaxing after a long day of work to enjoy. I even threw on a sheet mask while I listened to thunderstorms. What a better way to spend a weekend, amiright?

Do yoga or pilates for 30 minutes.

I am all about pilates, so I decided to try yoga for something different because it has been awhile since I’ve done a good 30 minutes of yoga. Let me tell you that it was so relaxing, and I’m wondering why I haven’t been doing this more frequently. Did I feel sore? Yes. But was it the BEST kind of sore? Absolutely!

Plan a night out with friends.

Sushi nights are the best nights. My favorite thing to do is to grab some sushi with my friends, and hangout with some wine and relax after a long day at work. It’s the little things in life that make it wonderful. Whether you’re relaxing at your house or going out for a girl’s night to the bar, make sure to spend quality time with friends.

Take a scenic drive.

I’m happy to live along the lake where I can enjoy beautiful views and a scenic drive along the water. I used to hate driving, but now I find it to be calming and relaxing when my favorite music is playing. I took a drive out along the lake and it happened to be a beautiful night with an even better sunset.

Organize your digital life.

My laptop was looking a little crazy after planning so much content for this month and for next month, so it was in desperate need of some organization. Let me tell you that my laptop is looking good after a few minutes of filing and sorting through my blog content.

Write 5 things you love about yourself.

1| My ambition.

2| My ability to dream no matter how big those dreams may be.

3| My compassion for others.

4| My ability to give love.

5| My strength.

Treat yourself to your favorite dessert.

What do you do when all desserts are your favorite? Oops. Just kidding. I plan on going on an ice cream date with Josh later today to treat myself to some ice cream, and I know I’ll have absolutely no regrets. Neither should you, so go #treatyoself today.

 

Week Four Challenges:

Watch your favorite movie.

Take a social media break.

Meditate for 10 minutes.

Try an online class or webinar.

Visit a chiropractor.

Take a power nap.

Compliment a stranger.

 

What tasks did you enjoy the most from week three? Which tasks were the most difficult? Make sure to share your experiences in the comments below!

 

Ki Signature

 

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Self-Care Challenge: Week 2

Posted in Health, Lifestyle
on July 14, 2017

One week down and three more weeks of self care to go! If you’re tuning into this challenge for the first time, make sure you catch up on my previous posts so you can learn about why I decided to create this challenge for July and how it will benefit you to begin focusing on self care. Are you ready for this week’s challenges?

Declutter your closet.

I did a huge overall f my closet a year ago, but I still go through it rather frequently because when I realize I’m not wearing an item, I will donate or sell it. On this day, I got rid of three pairs of shoes, two wallets, and a handful of other items as well. It’s amazing how much you don’t wear. As I continue to declutter these areas in my home, I find myself feeling happier every time. Read: 10 Questions to Help you Declutter your Closet

Do a random act of kindness.

My coworkers and I put together a gift for an employee who has been having a hard time. We got her and her children day passes to a water park, so they could enjoy the day together. She cried because it made her so happy, so of course I cried because she was crying. At least they were all happy tears! It warmed my heart to be able to do this. Whether it’s paying for the person’s coffee behind you, or leaving a note in a local bathroom, kindness can do wonders.

Try a new hobby and practice it during the challenge.

Fun Fact: I want to play the ukulele and I’m going to practice consistently throughout the remainder of this challenge to see how much I can learn over the next few weeks. Wish me luck! What hobby will you try for the remainder of this challenge? Make sure to share in the comment below!

Call/ FaceTime a family member to catch up.

I FaceTimed my friend which I do once in awhile. But since I haven’t seen them in so long, it’s always wonderful to talk and catch up on our lives like we’re actually together instead of states apart having coffee over the phone.

Plan a staycation in your town for a weekend.

My friend is visiting me for the first time in PA, so I’m planning a staycation with her that will be filled with things we’ve both never done before like: visit local museums, tour the beaches, go kayaking on the lake, and try restaurants unique to the city, etc. It’s fun to explore your own city sometimes.

Turn off your phone for a night.

This happened to be a day where I was feeling like I needed a break from social media and my phone altogether. I really put some time and energy into self care by having a glass of wine, reading outside on the patio, and indulging in some adult coloring. It’s the little things, right?

Write 5 things you’re thankful for.

1| Josh

2| My Job

3| Friends and Family

4| My Health

5| Self-Care

Week Three Challenges:

Create a calming playlist and relax while you listen.

Do yoga or Pilates for 30 minutes.

Plan a night out with friends.

Take a scenic drive.

Organize your digital life.

Write 5 things you love about yourself.

Treat yourself to your favorite dessert.

What tasks did you enjoy the most from week two? Which tasks were the most difficult? Make sure to share your experiences in the comments below!

 

 

Ki Signature

 

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