Hey there, friend!
This topic has been on my heart a lot recently because I’ve witnessed it first-hand with friends, family, coworkers, and even with myself. I felt compelled to write a blog post about it because I’m hoping to help you if you find yourself struggling in the new year. So if you find yourself struggling with beating yourself down in the midst of rejection, keep reading for a little bit of bliss.
Let me tell you one thing us humans know how to do very well…
Beat. Ourselves. Down. Relentlessly.
I’m sure you can relate to this regardless of the season of life you may find yourself in. You’re working on a huge project you’ve been putting all your time and energy into only to find out that your corporate doesn’t approve. You’ve been dreaming and working hard because this is something you’re incredibly passionate about pursuing, and everything comes crashing down once you hear that rejection. This, unfortunately, leads to a negative spiral of you questioning your worth, intelligence, and even your skills in your position. You’re left devastated and defeated.
Or, you’re a mom who is juggling work, family, taking care of kids, all while trying to stay afloat with every other commitment—and you find yourself beating yourself down on how you should sleep less, so that you have more time to spend with your family after working 40 hours each week. Guilt settles in, and eventually consumes your entire mind. Now, you’re left thinking your a bad employee, horrible mother and a less-than-perfect wife.
There are a million more examples I could list out, but the point is we have all been there whether it’s related to work, family, a passion project, and everything other situation in between. Even I have a difficult time accepting that I’ve restlessly torn myself apart with criticism and negative words, and it’s NOT good place to be in. So, why do we allow ourselves to beat ourselves down whenever we face rejection?
Rejection is part of life. Not everything is going to go smoothly, and life is a long journey of peaks and valleys. But, when did it become normal to be so negative toward ourselves to the point where we question our self-worth simply because we are in the midst of rejection? When did it become acceptable to beat ourselves down to the point where we don’t even like who we are in that moment or situation?
I don’t know about you, but that’s not the way I want to live my life, and you shouldn’t want to live your life that way either. 2018 should be a year where we focus on self-care, self-love, and working on the best relationship with ourselves. It we truly aren’t happy with the relationship we have with ourselves, how we expect to have a good relationship with our friends and family? Once we invite more love and kindness when working on ourselves, the better we will be.
Here are some tips to NOT beat yourself down when facing rejection:
1| This too, shall pass
Remember that this moment of rejection will not last forever. It most likely will not matter in the next five years, or maybe it won’t even matter in the next five days. Although it can be difficult to move on when you feel like you messed up, it’s essential for your well being. Don’t let yourself linger in the negative feelings that follow rejection. Allow yourself to feel them for a certain amount of time, so then you can move on feeling good about yourself again. Better yet, USE the rejection as motivation to go back and learn from the rejection, so that you can conquer it next time you face that challenge.
Use your past to make you better, not bitter.
2| Let go of perfectionism
2018 is the year we should let go of perfectionism. Granted, this is ALWAYS easier said than done because perfectionism is a tough disease to fight through. But, not only will this help your mental health in the long run, but it will also help you focus on being kind and compassionate to yourself when you’re in the wake of rejection. Remember that no one is perfect, and you’re not an exception to this fact. The bad thing is that MANY of us struggle with this, so next time you see a loved one getting caught in the perfectionism trap, remind them that they are only human, they are doing the best they can; and they are more than enough.
3| Focus on self-love
Self-love is something we should be committed to working on in 2018 because without it, perfectionism takes over the mind like a wild fire. Then, you’re left soaking in the rejection while your relationship with yourself is deteriorating. Remember all the other times you faced rejection, and you thought that you weren’t going to make it through? Well, you made it. Not only that, you probably grew from the experience and it made you become even more wonderful than you already are.
So, believe in yourself and remember that despite everything you have been though, you are still standing. You are a force to be reckoned with. You will not let rejection destroy your self-esteem because you’re too good for that.
The next time you face rejection, remember that it’s okay to feel upset or angry. But don’t let those emotions turn negatively onto yourself. Remember that every human will face rejection and mistakes because it is part of life. That doesn’t make you any less of a human being. If anything, the experiences should humble you being a reminder that YOU ARE human and it’s okay.
When is the last time you faced rejection? Do you find yourself struggling with perfectionism when it comes to your work? How do you handle rejection, or how can you better handle rejection next time it comes your way? I would love to her more about your experiences in the comment below!