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How To Stop Beating Yourself Down When Rejection Strikes

Posted in Lifestyle
on January 15, 2018

Hey there, friend! 

This topic has been on my heart a lot recently because I’ve witnessed it first-hand with friends, family, coworkers, and even with myself. I felt compelled to write a blog post about it because I’m hoping to help you if you find yourself struggling in the new year. So if you find yourself struggling with beating yourself down in the midst of rejection, keep reading for a little bit of bliss.

Let me tell you one thing us humans know how to do very well…

Beat. Ourselves. Down. Relentlessly. 

I’m sure you can relate to this regardless of the season of life you may find yourself in. You’re working on a huge project you’ve been putting all your time and energy into only to find out that your corporate doesn’t approve. You’ve been dreaming and working hard because this is something you’re incredibly passionate about pursuing, and everything comes crashing down once you hear that rejection. This, unfortunately, leads to a negative spiral of you questioning your worth, intelligence, and even your skills in your position. You’re left devastated and defeated.

Or, you’re a mom who is juggling work, family, taking care of kids, all while trying to stay afloat with every other commitment—and you find yourself beating yourself down on how you should sleep less, so that you have more time to spend with your family after working 40 hours each week. Guilt settles in, and eventually consumes your entire mind. Now, you’re left thinking your a bad employee, horrible mother and a less-than-perfect wife.

There are a million more examples I could list out, but the point is we have all been there whether it’s related to work, family, a passion project, and everything other situation in between. Even I have a difficult time accepting that I’ve restlessly torn myself apart with criticism and negative words, and it’s NOT  good place to be in. So, why do we allow ourselves to beat ourselves down whenever we face rejection?

Rejection is part of life. Not everything is going to go smoothly, and life is a long journey of peaks and valleys. But, when did it become normal to be so negative toward ourselves to the point where we question our self-worth simply because we are in the midst of rejection? When did it become acceptable to beat ourselves down to the point where we don’t even like who we are in that moment or situation?

I don’t know about you, but that’s not the way I want to live my life, and you shouldn’t want to live your life that way either. 2018 should be a year where we focus on self-care, self-love, and working on the best relationship with ourselves. It we truly aren’t happy with the relationship we have with ourselves, how we expect to have a good relationship with our friends and family? Once we invite more love and kindness when working on ourselves, the better we will be.

Here are some tips to NOT beat yourself down when facing rejection:

1| This too, shall pass

Remember that this moment of rejection will not last forever. It most likely will not matter in the next five years, or maybe it won’t even matter in the next five days. Although it can be difficult to move on when you feel like you messed up, it’s essential for your well being. Don’t let yourself linger in the negative feelings that follow rejection. Allow yourself to feel them for a certain amount of time, so then you can move on feeling good about yourself again. Better yet, USE the rejection as motivation to go back and learn from the rejection, so that you can conquer it next time you face that challenge.

Use your past to make you better, not bitter.

2| Let go of perfectionism

2018 is the year we should let go of perfectionism. Granted, this is ALWAYS easier said than done because perfectionism is a tough disease to fight through. But, not only will this help your mental health in the long run, but it will also help you focus on being kind and compassionate to yourself when you’re in the wake of rejection. Remember that no one is perfect, and you’re not an exception to this fact. The bad thing is that MANY of us struggle with this, so next time you see a loved one getting caught in the perfectionism trap, remind them that they are only human, they are doing the best they can; and they are more than enough.

3| Focus on self-love

Self-love is something we should be committed to working on in 2018 because without it, perfectionism takes over the mind like a wild fire. Then, you’re left soaking in the rejection while your relationship with yourself is deteriorating. Remember all the other times you faced rejection, and you thought that you weren’t going to make it through? Well, you made it. Not only that, you probably grew from the experience and it made you become even more wonderful than you already are.

So, believe in yourself and remember that despite everything you have been though, you are still standing. You are a force to be reckoned with. You will not let rejection destroy your self-esteem because you’re too good for that.

Related: 5 Reasons to Make Self-Love a Priority

The next time you face rejection, remember that it’s okay to feel upset or angry. But don’t let those emotions turn negatively onto yourself. Remember that every human will face rejection and mistakes because it is part of life. That doesn’t make you any less of a human being. If anything, the experiences should humble you being a reminder that YOU ARE human and it’s okay.

When is the last time you faced rejection? Do you find yourself struggling with perfectionism when it comes to your work? How do you handle rejection, or how can you better handle rejection next time it comes your way? I would love to her more about your experiences in the comment below!

Ki Signature

 

 

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23 Things I’ve Learned in 23 Years

Posted in Lifestyle
on April 19, 2017

While you’re reading this, I’m off adventuring in Boston for the first time with Josh in celebration of our birthdays. Yesterday, I turned 23 (eek!) and I have to say that I’m happy with where I’m at with this age. Today, I want to share 23 things I’ve learned in 23 years with you. Make sure to share some important lessons you’ve learned over the years as well!

1| Do more of what makes you happy.

Why wait until you’re 30 to pursue your dream job? STOP WAITING. Go out and do all the things you want to do right now. I’ve realized that your passions are your calling and you should always pursue them. So go out and start doing what you love!

2| Love above all else.

Let’s be real, friends. Life is too darn short to waste it on hatred. Giving love even when you think that person may not deserve it is one of the strongest things you can do. When in doubt, let love win. Always choose love and always give love.

3| Don’t let social media fool you.

That girl took more than 40 selfies to get the right angle to post on Instagram. The lighting isn’t always perfect, and yes—everyone reuses their Starbucks cup for several Instagram photos because no one wants to spend $50 a week on coffee.

4| If you can’t get a miracle, be a miracle for someone else.

Simply remember the words.

5| Friday nights are different. And that’s okay.

Because there’s nothing better then spending a night in with good friends, some Disney songs and a lot of sushi. You don’t always need a night out to enjoy your time with people you care about.

6| Surround yourself with people who lift you up.

You deserve to be around people who love you and appreciate you. Don’t waste time on people who are negative and don’t bring anything positive to your life. You’re a product of your environment, so make sure you’re spending it with amazing people.

7| Savings are too important to ignore.

Girl, pay off your debt and start putting aside money every week and every month. You can’t pretend that savings aren’t important because they are. Set a budget, prioritize the necessities, and start saving money for your future house, travel, your business or anything else that is important to you.

8| Quality over quantity.

Now is the time to invest. Invest in one pair of high-quality shoes that you will love and use for the next 10 years. Invest in your skincare products, invest in good luggage, invest in a a good piece of jewelry you’ll wear every single day. But always remember quality over quantity.

9| You are enough.

You are enough. You are so enough it’s unbelievable how enough you are.

10| Take care of yourself.

Drink water. Get enough sleep. Keep your home clean. Make yourself healthy meals you truly enjoy. Make regular doctor’s appointments. Ask for help when you need it. Take time for yourself when you’re overwhelmed.

11| On that work/personal life “crisis.”

In the midst of what seems to be a disaster, ask yourself: will this matter in five years? The truth it, it might not even matter a year from now or a week from now. Take every “crisis” in stride and remember that this too, shall pass.

12| Minimalism matters.

Get rid of anything in your life that isn’t beautiful, useful or brings a sense of joy. You’ll be amazed what a difference this makes.

13| Forgive yourself & others.

Things happen and everyone makes mistakes. Forgive others if they have wronged you, but also remember to forgive yourself of your past mistakes, too.

14| Travel and explore.

The world is too large and beautiful to stay in one place. Spend money on adventures and traveling. Traveling is the only thing you can buy in life that will make you richer.

15| Spend time alone.

The most important relationship, and the relationship you’ll have for the longest is with yourself. Enjoy time alone and use it to learn and grow. Your future self will thank you.

16| Never stop learning.

You have a degree, but that doesn’t mean you should stop learning. Read as much as possible. Listen to podcasts. Watch documentaries. Listen when someone is speaking. Travel (See number 14). There are so many opportunities to learn in your lifetime.

17| Treat yourself.

Treat yourself to a hot bath with Lush products, or to a glass of wine, or your favorite dessert. Buy that Starbucks drink when you know you haven’t had it in months. You deserve it. Remember it’s the little things in life!

18| On working out.

Working out isn’t just about “looking” good. You should be spending time working out because it’s good for your mental, physical and emotional health. Work out because it’s a priority for your well-being. Find exercises you enjoy and do them regularly.

19| Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Don’t let that negative email from your boss or the evening traffic get to you. Life is too short to get worked up over things you can’t control. Remember this when something unexpected and frustrating comes along in your life.

20| It’s okay to not have it all figured out.

Of course, we want to be able to say we know exactly what we want and have our 5-year plan mapped out. This isn’t always realistic. It’s okay if you know where you want to be in 5 years. But if you don’t, that’s okay, too because plans change. It’s all about being able to roll with the punches.

21| Dress up. Show up. Never give up. 

If you’re having a rough day, dress up and spend a little extra time getting ready so you feel good. Put on an outfit you can rock all day. It will help with your productivity and happiness throughout even the most difficult Monday. I promise.

22| Learn when to say yes and no.

Say yes to adventures, new experiences and things that will bring you the most joy. Say no when you know you’re unable to fully commit to something and when you need a break. Learn when to say these two words, and you’ll always find balance in your life.

23| Be thankful.

Be thankful for every positive and negative experience in your life because it was either a blessing or a lesson. Regardless, it was able to help you grow! Express gratitude at every opportunity.

What are some life lessons you have learned over the years? Make sure to share them in the comments below!

 

 

Ki Signature

 

 

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