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How To Stop Beating Yourself Down When Rejection Strikes

Posted in Lifestyle
on January 15, 2018

Hey there, friend! 

This topic has been on my heart a lot recently because I’ve witnessed it first-hand with friends, family, coworkers, and even with myself. I felt compelled to write a blog post about it because I’m hoping to help you if you find yourself struggling in the new year. So if you find yourself struggling with beating yourself down in the midst of rejection, keep reading for a little bit of bliss.

Let me tell you one thing us humans know how to do very well…

Beat. Ourselves. Down. Relentlessly. 

I’m sure you can relate to this regardless of the season of life you may find yourself in. You’re working on a huge project you’ve been putting all your time and energy into only to find out that your corporate doesn’t approve. You’ve been dreaming and working hard because this is something you’re incredibly passionate about pursuing, and everything comes crashing down once you hear that rejection. This, unfortunately, leads to a negative spiral of you questioning your worth, intelligence, and even your skills in your position. You’re left devastated and defeated.

Or, you’re a mom who is juggling work, family, taking care of kids, all while trying to stay afloat with every other commitment—and you find yourself beating yourself down on how you should sleep less, so that you have more time to spend with your family after working 40 hours each week. Guilt settles in, and eventually consumes your entire mind. Now, you’re left thinking your a bad employee, horrible mother and a less-than-perfect wife.

There are a million more examples I could list out, but the point is we have all been there whether it’s related to work, family, a passion project, and everything other situation in between. Even I have a difficult time accepting that I’ve restlessly torn myself apart with criticism and negative words, and it’s NOT  good place to be in. So, why do we allow ourselves to beat ourselves down whenever we face rejection?

Rejection is part of life. Not everything is going to go smoothly, and life is a long journey of peaks and valleys. But, when did it become normal to be so negative toward ourselves to the point where we question our self-worth simply because we are in the midst of rejection? When did it become acceptable to beat ourselves down to the point where we don’t even like who we are in that moment or situation?

I don’t know about you, but that’s not the way I want to live my life, and you shouldn’t want to live your life that way either. 2018 should be a year where we focus on self-care, self-love, and working on the best relationship with ourselves. It we truly aren’t happy with the relationship we have with ourselves, how we expect to have a good relationship with our friends and family? Once we invite more love and kindness when working on ourselves, the better we will be.

Here are some tips to NOT beat yourself down when facing rejection:

1| This too, shall pass

Remember that this moment of rejection will not last forever. It most likely will not matter in the next five years, or maybe it won’t even matter in the next five days. Although it can be difficult to move on when you feel like you messed up, it’s essential for your well being. Don’t let yourself linger in the negative feelings that follow rejection. Allow yourself to feel them for a certain amount of time, so then you can move on feeling good about yourself again. Better yet, USE the rejection as motivation to go back and learn from the rejection, so that you can conquer it next time you face that challenge.

Use your past to make you better, not bitter.

2| Let go of perfectionism

2018 is the year we should let go of perfectionism. Granted, this is ALWAYS easier said than done because perfectionism is a tough disease to fight through. But, not only will this help your mental health in the long run, but it will also help you focus on being kind and compassionate to yourself when you’re in the wake of rejection. Remember that no one is perfect, and you’re not an exception to this fact. The bad thing is that MANY of us struggle with this, so next time you see a loved one getting caught in the perfectionism trap, remind them that they are only human, they are doing the best they can; and they are more than enough.

3| Focus on self-love

Self-love is something we should be committed to working on in 2018 because without it, perfectionism takes over the mind like a wild fire. Then, you’re left soaking in the rejection while your relationship with yourself is deteriorating. Remember all the other times you faced rejection, and you thought that you weren’t going to make it through? Well, you made it. Not only that, you probably grew from the experience and it made you become even more wonderful than you already are.

So, believe in yourself and remember that despite everything you have been though, you are still standing. You are a force to be reckoned with. You will not let rejection destroy your self-esteem because you’re too good for that.

Related: 5 Reasons to Make Self-Love a Priority

The next time you face rejection, remember that it’s okay to feel upset or angry. But don’t let those emotions turn negatively onto yourself. Remember that every human will face rejection and mistakes because it is part of life. That doesn’t make you any less of a human being. If anything, the experiences should humble you being a reminder that YOU ARE human and it’s okay.

When is the last time you faced rejection? Do you find yourself struggling with perfectionism when it comes to your work? How do you handle rejection, or how can you better handle rejection next time it comes your way? I would love to her more about your experiences in the comment below!

Ki Signature

 

 

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5 Tips to Focus on Health During the Holidays

Posted in Health, Lifestyle
on December 4, 2017

For the last week, I’ve really trying to get back on track with eating healthy and working out more. Now that the craziness at work has died down a little, and Josh and I are settled in our home, I can get back to focusing on the holidays and my health.

Although this time of year isn’t associated with health, and wellness—I think it’s the best time to being focusing on that if it will ultimately be your goal for the new year. Instead of binge-eating all the desserts and alcoholic beverages, why not start now? Don’t waste the next month planning for a healthier year if you’re going to excuse the next month to bad habits. Here are five tips to focus on health during the holidays.

1| Don’t use the holidays as an excuse

The holidays shouldn’t be an excuse to eat everything in sight for the next month while not committing to any form of exercise in the process. If you’re truly striving to life a healthier lifestyle, you will know not to use the time of year as  an excuse to not work out, eat poorly, and ultimately not take care of yourself.

2| What are your goals?

Are you training for a 10k? Wanting to lose four inches on your body by summer? Whatever your goals are, make sure you are writing them down and sticking to them. Without a goal in mind, it  will be easier for you to fall off track, especially during this time of year. With an end goal in mind, you will consistently have something to work toward.

3| Stay balanced 

No one is telling you that you can’t east any of the delicious, wonderful food during the holidays. You should definitely be treating yourself to a slice of pie, or Christmas potatoes without any guilt. Depriving yourself of the food you love is actually worse for you in the long run. Feed your body what it wants, but simply be mindful of portions when you’re eating. Take your time when eating so your body knows when its full—and you’ll be good!

4| Don’t be hard on yourself

You drank six cocktails at the holiday party and demolished a tray of appetizers with your best friend. It’s okay. Don’t be hard on yourself if you do slip up over a weekend or at a party. You’re allowed to indulge. The problem is when you say, “Well, I already messed up, so why get on track?” Instead, to a simple workout like yoga or Pilates and make a healthy recipe the day after to get your body back on track.

5| Make the time

Instead of spending an hour watching Vlogmas, you can get an hour workout in. Better yet, why not workout anytime you decide to watch YouTube, or a holiday movie? It’s an easy way to make your workout a little less daunting if it’s not your favorite thing to do. Plus, you’ll be doing something productive while you’re doing something you also enjoy. It’s a win-win for you and your health!

How do you focus on health during the holidays? What are some of your tips to stay on track during a time of delicious food and drinks? Make sure to share in the comments below!

Ki Signature

 

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How to Create a Life you DON’T Need a Vacation From

Posted in Lifestyle
on October 30, 2017

I’m creating a life I don’t need a vacation from.

Yes, that’s right. You can create a life you don’t need a vacation from even if you’re an avid travel-lover like myself. I love to travel, but I don’t want such a stressful life that I’m always itching for a vacation and for time away from my life.

If something isn’t working for you, change it.

If your job only causes stress and not joy, leave.

If you’re not happy with where you live, move.

If you want to pursue your dream, go for it.

So what can you do about it?

We have the power to change ANYTHING we don’t like in our lives. Remember that next time you’re feeling stuck, confused and lost. You can change your address, your place of work, or anything else you don’t love about your life.

We also feel the itch for vacations because of burn out. Burn out is real in any line of work when we overwork ourselves without enough time to rest. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, taking time away from emails and phone calls when you’re off the clock, and put your health first. If you’re not giving yourself time to unwind every day or week, then you’re going to deteriorate mentally, physically and emotionally. AKA feel stressed all the time and need to “get away from everything.” Instead, do something for yourself every few days like a workout you love, or read a new book, or spend time with friends.

Before I get comments about how everyone decided to change their life, and they STILL aren’t happy—let me remind you of one very important thing. The goal to creating a life you don’t need a vacation from is consistently feeling blissful with the everyday aspects of your life. If you don’t enjoy getting up, going to work, and coming home to your family then you’re probably not going to be happy. If you’re only happy when a big life change happens like starting a new job, moving to a new state, buying a new home, or taking a lavish vacation, you’re probably not going to be happy in general.

You need to be happy with even the most average days of your life in order to create a life you don’t need a vacation from. 

The truth is, you’re not going to have life-changing events happen every day. Instead, find bliss in Sunday breakfast with your spouse, fresh flowers, a good book, or a fun night in with your friends. Those are the moments that you should look forward to. Those are the moments that make life wonderful, and encourage you to not plan a vacation you don’t need. You can also plan mini-staycations at home when you take a Saturday to do absolutely nothing. Say no to plans you may have committed to because at the end of the day, you need to put yourself and your health first.

So, how will you create a life you don’t need a vacation from? What will you change in your life in order to live more blissfully? Make sure to share in the comments below!

Ki Signature

 

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8 Tips to Get Your Life Together in 8 Hours

Posted in Lifestyle
on October 23, 2017

The Sunday Scaries are a real thing, friends.

Every Sunday, I’m hoping to enjoy the day, feel relaxed, and ready to take on a new week. Sometimes, that’s not always the case. Instead, I’m left feeling overwhelmed by the amount of things I want to accomplish in a short period of time before the week begins. So, I put together an easy plan that will help you get your life together in one day with these eight tips. If you’re looking for a little bliss on Sunday, keep reading!

1| Start Early

Okay, so I’m sure you’re not too happy about reading this one. The truth is, you’re probably up around your normal weekday time anyway (it’s how you know you’re actually an adult). Once you’re up—get out of bed, have breakfast and coffee, so we can make this Sunday blissful, productive and enjoyable. Start by throwing in a load of laundry, so you can have one thing checked off your list before the day fully begins.

2| Sweat a Little

But don’t go all out with an hour of cardio. Instead, do a feel-good workout like Pilates, Yoga or a 20-minute ab workout. Make sure it’s something easy and that it won’t take up too much for your time because you’ll need time and energy for other tasks. Working out first thing in the morning also increases your productivity, so you’ll feel ready to work through the rest of your to-do list for the day.

3| Make The Plan

What does your Sunday look like? Sure I know you want to relax while football is on all day, but this isn’t always realistic. So write down everything that needs to be done from cleaning to meal prepping to family time. It sounds silly to include everything, but I promise it will make your day run more smoothly.

4| Meal Prep with Ease

I love meal prepping two or three meals for the week because it helps us get through most of the week after adding in small meals you can make during the week like salads, wraps, grilled chicken, etc. I also try to meal prep something big in the crockpot for Sundays for the week because you dump everything in one pot and turn it on low for eight hours. Then the other meal will be baked chicken and potatoes, or something similar. While one meal is in the crockpot and the other is in the oven, schedule small cleaning tasks like collecting garbage, running the dishwasher etc. Use the timer on the oven as a race to see how much you can get down in 30 minutes. You’ll be surprised how much you get done. If you’re looking for easy meals, I recommend this chicken recipe or a hearty stew.

5| Schedule Down Time 

After you’ve made up some meals and are halfway through cleaning for the day, plan in small sections of downtime. An hour to read or work on one of your passion projects (whatever it may be). Then plan another two hours to watch a movie with the family or catch part of a game. Adding in pockets of downtime to your schedule will help you look forward to crossing off items off your list, so you can enjoy that time.

6| Prioritize Cleaning

What really needs to be cleaned on Sunday for you? I think we default to Sundays for cleaning because we don’t tackle many chores during the week. Instead, prioritize what needs to be done on Sundays like laundry, dishes, bathrooms, etc. Maybe you can plan an hour on a weekend to work on smaller cleaning tasks like dusting and vacuuming. That way, you aren’t spending hours cleaning everything in your home.

7| Look Ahead for the Week

It only 30 minutes, but it’s definitely worth it. Grab your planner, bullet journal, phone, or whatever you use to plan your life and make sure you have everything scheduled for the week from appointments, plans with friends, events, dinners, and everything in between. Taking the 10-15 minutes will save you stress the following morning, so you know what’s coming your way. Also pick out your outfit for Monday, and have your lunch ready to go for a stress-free morning.

8| Make Time for Family/Friends 

It’s SO important to make time for friends and family if you can’t do so during the week. I love Sundays and always look forward to them because we have Sunday dinner at Josh’s parent’s house, so it’s a tradition to watch football, eat dinner and spend time together. However you decide to spend time with family and friends, make sure you focus on your time with them and not cleaning, cooking or anything else.

I hope this post helps you rethink how you plan your Sundays. With a little planning comes a ton of bliss, so make sure to take the time to make a plan for the day and stick to it! You got this, girl!

How do you get your life together on Sundays? What is on your to-do list for Sunday? Make sure to share in the comments below!

Ki Signature

 

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Self-Care Challenge: Week 4

Posted in Health, Lifestyle
on July 28, 2017

I feel like this month has been flying by! I can’t believe this is the last week (with the exception of the weekend) for our 30-day self care challenge. If you haven’t been keeping up with the last few posts, make sure you check them out: week one self care challenges, week two self care challenges, week three self care challenges.

Week Four Challenges:

Watch your favorite movie.

I have too many favorites, but I decided on Pitch Perfect because you can’t go wrong with singing and Anna Kendrick. Right? What is your favorite movies or top five list of favorite movies?

Take a social media break.

It was a perfect day to take time away from social media because I had everything scheduled in advance, so I wasn’t even worried about posting to different platforms. It’s amazing what this little break can do for your well-being. I was able to focus on enjoying the day rather than aimlessly scroll on social media!

Meditate for 10 minutes.

I’m a person who meditates so much better when I’m listening to soundscapes like summer thunderstorms. It definitely helps me relax a lot easier and enjoy the time in peace. Do you meditate? Do you listen to guided meditations or have any apps you use? Make sure to share in the comments!

Try an online class or webinar.

I’ve been taking so many online classes, courses and webinars for all things, blogging, social media, etc., and this one was no different. I decided to focus more on YouTube, and I can’t express how much I learned. P.S. this might be a hint of something coming to Blissfully Brunette soon!

Visit a chiropractor.

My chiropractor is incredible. It’s amazing what one little adjustment can do for my neck. If you struggle with neck and back pain, I would definitely recommend it because it will change your life. I promise.

Take a power nap.

This was after a LONG week and even a longer weekend ahead, so this nap was so well deserved. If Corrine says we should take naps, then we should take naps. Side note: Are you watching the Bachelorette? Who do you think will win?

Compliment a stranger.

It’s incredible to see how taking the time to compliment someone can make their day, especially when they’re a stranger. Take the time to spread some love and kindness by complimenting that girl at work or someone at the bar.

Week Five Challenges: 

Two words: adult coloring.

Buy flowers and plants for your home and office.

 

What tasks did you enjoy the most from week four? Which tasks were the most difficult? Make sure to share your experiences in the comments below!

 

Ki Signature

 

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