My Story: Comparing Myself To Other Bloggers

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This is the first blog post I’ve written that makes me incredibly emotional simply because of the topic.

For those who don’t know me, I am the definition of a type-A perfectionist. I thrive on organization and making to-do lists. I love having a busy schedule and planning tons of projects. I’m always trying to improve my skills to be better than I was yesterday. Improvement, for me, can also mean that I’m looking to other bloggers as an inspiration to become better as well.

In hindsight, this doesn’t sound like a horrible thing, right?

Remember in elementary school when your teacher said you had to “peel back the onion”  to see all the different layers? This behavior can be dangerous even if it doesn’t seem that way on the surface. Once you peel back the layers of the onion, you see more of the dangers of comparison.

What I didn’t realize is how much comparison consumed my life. Growing up as an athlete, comparison and striving to improve was essential to succeed among tough competition. Unfortunately, most of the time, this lead to unhealthy behaviors with working out too much or not eating enough. But, it goes to show that comparison has been part of my life for many years.

Then college came around, and comparison was in full force. Now, post college, I realize that comparison didn’t rule my life as much as I was expecting until I noticed my unhealthy obsession with comparing myself to other bloggers.

Most people don’t know this, but I have been blogging for awhile. I see some bloggers are making thousands of dollars after launching a website in under six months. Whereas I’ve been working on this for years and haven’t quite found my way yet.

There are fashion bloggers who have beautiful, outfits, a full face of Instagram-worthy makeup and Pinterest-perfect hair. There are beauty bloggers who can create unique makeup looks, and show their skills easily on their blog. There are lifestyle bloggers who passionately share their stories that so many people can relate to.

I didn’t feel like I could measure up to all the talented bloggers I know.

I didn’t feel good enough.

Every post I put up, I hated. I didn’t like anything I was creating because comparison got in the way of my judgement. It made me feel horrible about myself.

That’s when I knew I had to stop.

Whether you’re comparing yourself to the model on Instagram, or to the blogger you have looked up to for five years—you cannot compare yourself to that person. Of course, this is easier said than done. There will still be days where I’m going to doubt myself and fall back into the comparison trap because it’s an easy trap to fall for.

But I will not allow it to control my thoughts about myself and my self worth. One of my goals was to be more kind to myself, and this is one aspect I know will help me reach that goal.

If you’re out there comparing yourself to anyone whether it’s a friend, a model, a blogger, or someone you don’t even know…please stop. You are most likely doing more harm than good. It’s okay to learn and improve, but it’s not okay to judge yourself negatively. You deserve to be kind to yourself.

I hope this has helped someone, or has inspired someone to begin a new chapter in their life free of comparison.

Have you ever struggled with comparison? Make sure to leave a comment below!

Ki Signature

 

 

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  • Oh, you are SO not alone! I’ve been blogging for more than 10 years (TEN!!!) and I feel like this constantly. It’s so hard to “be yourself” when social media is showing you “better” and different ways of doing things left and right. I struggle with comparing my blog often (especially around those bloggers who have thousands of views and money rolling in after they’ve only been doing this for like two seconds), but I realized that my readers are probably more engaged and will be more loyal to someone who isn’t out to just make a quick buck. Good luck with staying true to your own (blogging) self!

    • Thank you so much for your wonderful comment, Jessica! I completely agree that social media has played a part in my questioning my blogging capabilities and whether or not I’m good enough. But sometimes it’s better to be yourself and stay true to your values and what you love. Thank you!

  • This isn’t something that I struggle with but I know a lot of people do. Thanks for being willing to open up and write about this.

    • I’m happy to hear that you enjoyed reading it! Thanks, Brittany!

  • Love this post, Kiara, and I appreciate you opening up and sharing your story. There are so many people out there who struggle with this on a daily basis, including myself. I’m the same way with being a Type A perfectionist, and it will consume you if you let it. Comparison truly is the thief of joy and it needs to be thrown out the window. Great post, girl!

    • Thank you, Cara! I feel like many other bloggers have felt the same at some point in their time blogging because it’s so easy to get trapped in the comparison game. I’m sure you can relate being that type-A person like me!

  • I’ve definitely had moments of feeling this as well. It’s important to remember everyone’s journey is different and growth takes time!

    • Preach, girl! This is so true! We all have different paths and that’s okay! Growth is different for all of us. Thank you!

  • I feel this way DAILY. I just try to keep reminding myself to do what I love because I love it. Thank you for sharing

    • Yes! When I took my break, I realized that I love blogging and I always will love writing and creating, so why not forget about comparison and enjoy what I love.

  • Georgiana Daniels

    THANK YOU! Such a great post. After a 4 year hiatus, I finally returned to blogging and found so much had changed and it seems harder than ever to “break in.” Yup…definitely have to stop comparing.

    • You’re oh so welcome, Georgiana! Comparing can make or break your blogging experience, so I’m happy that I learned this now and realized it’s time to stop comparing!

  • This is definitely a struggle for me. I know I’m on a different path than other bloggers, but if I see something I like, I see if I can incorporate it into my posts or blog layout maybe as a spin off from their idea. That’s help me not compare as much.

    • Erin,

      I love how you mentioned incorporating content to fit into your blog or to fit your needs for the content you create! That will definitely help me going forward.

      • It’s easy to be jealous or compare, but the truth is we can learn from each other. I’ve seen several things on your blog I have loved, and tried to work into my own blog. 🙂

  • <3 <3 <3 I just wrote a post about this a couple weeks ago about how comparison was stealing my blogging joy. It seemed that no matter how hard I worked, someone would always be bigger or prettier or have more opportunities come their way! It was making blogging not fun for me and I was pretty burnt out and anxious about it. I decided to screw the comparison game and get back to blogging about what makes me happy and just to share my love of beauty and affordable fashion and not worrying about what others are doing! I have to remind myself that because other people are successful doesn't mean I'm a failure!

    • Chelsie, You are SO SWEET! Thank you so much for your kind words! I couldn’t agree more–comparison makes blogging miserable. I hated everything I was creating and posting. I knew that was the moment I needed to take a step back, take a break, and reevaluate my blog and get back to my roots. I love writing, sharing stories, or sharing advice on beauty and fashion. It was time to cut out comparison and get back to creating!

  • Christine Jarmuz

    Aunt Christine in AZ here:
    When I start to do some serious soul-searching, I put on some nice new age music and read some meaningful quotes. It seems to set the stage for a journey inward, rather than outward. Once that mindset is in place, what enters my head and ultimately rests in my soul is a feeling that does not have me comparing myself to,others, but to the self I was yesterday and the person I hope to be tomorrow.
    CJ

    • Thank you, Aunt Christine! I love that idea simply because I should always focus on bettering myself instead of comparing myself to others.